Dear men, it is okay, to not be okay
Why do you think men do not talk about their mental health? There are generalized views or preconceptions attached with gender and gender role. It is based on the concept of men being tough and masculine, which prevents men from expressing themselves the way they should. The truth is gender roles can be absurd and do not help much.
Societal pressures and expectations also play a role in why men do not actively talk about their mental and emotional struggles. We are aware of gender stereotypes about women. Things like the idea of women looking, behaving, and carrying themselves in a certain type of way. It can be, and is, blight. Similarly, it is also important to understand that men can also be affected by stereotypes and expectations!
Men are expected to be providers, and to be strong, dominant and in control. It is good to be strong and dominant, but it is not good when it precludes men to reach out for help. Not being able to properly speak out and express their emotions, can lead to potentially harmful coping strategies like alcohol and drug abuse. We believe that body shaming is for women only which is not true, men go through it too. And it affects them the same way but comes in the mask of masculinity that they wear. But the question is — Till when or for how long? Let’s look into some common mental health conditions in men.
About 6 of every 10 men experience at least one trauma in their lives. Men are more likely to experience trauma like accidents, physical and sexual assault, injury, etc. and PTSD (post-traumatic stress syndrome) can develop anytime could be weeks, months or even years later after the trauma. And there can be several symptoms that can interfere with everyday life.
Excessive stress is also one of the causes for mental illnesses. Stress can be a short-term issue or a long-term problem, depending on what changes in your life. It can have effects on the physical health, also known as psychosomatic issues. Psychosomatic means a physical illness that is caused by a mental factor. So, what exactly happens to our body when we are under stress — Aches and pains, chest pain or a feeling like your heart is racing, exhaustion or trouble sleeping, headaches, dizziness or shaking, high blood pressure, muscle tension or jaw clenching, stomach or digestive problems, low sex drive, weak immune system, anxiety or irritability, depression, panic attacks, sadness. Being a breadwinner can be very stressful. With increased responsibilities, stress rises. Even prior to be married men have the pressure to be “good enough” to qualify the rounds for the ‘ideal groom’ eligibility. It causes fear of loneliness, and pressure of being the perfect marriage material.
Depression is NOT a sign of weakness, and it can affect any man, regardless of his age and race or ethnicity. Depression cannot be pushed aside. It is a serious mental health condition that affects any individual’s daily life, including the way one eats, sleeps, feels, and thinks. It can also affect people’s ability to work, go to school, and maintain relationships with family and friends. What would cause development of depression in a man’s life? It can be due to multiple factors. For starters, his genes can play a major role. Men who have a family history of depression are more likely to develop it than those who do not. Day to day environmental stress can trigger depression too. This includes financial problems, grief and loss, work problems, a difficult relationship, a major life change, or a stressful situation. Also, depression can occur in men who have a serious medical condition like diabetes, heart disease, or cancer or even some physical insecurities. Psychical insecurities like the shape and size of their body, appearance, muscles, etc.
Getting an accurate diagnosis and following it up with treatment is essential. Most people need professional help to feel better. Without it, illnesses can lead to serious consequences, such as trying to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol, men are two times more likely to binge drink than women, or worse — suicide. Suicide rates are almost four times higher than women. And unfortunately, suicide rates are on the rise across the nation.
Making positive lifestyle changes can make a significant contribution to mental well-being. So here are a few steps men can take to alter their lifestyle. Begin with making the decision to start a conversation with a loved one or a friend takes courage and strength. Men are much less likely to voice struggles with mental illness and do not talk openly about their feelings. It is also likely that someone you know is experiencing feelings of anxiety and depression, and we have the power and strength to make a difference in their lives.
If difficulties seem to continue with the same intensity, then seek help from a mental health professional. Proper treatment is essential and continue the treatment to prevent any relapses of the condition.
Another way is to learn ways to manage stress and anxiety through relaxation activities, such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, breathing exercises and muscle relaxation. Programs are available online, in smartphone apps, and at many gyms and community centers.
A healthy diet plays an important role in health, both physical and mental. Eating well, taking enough sleep (about 7–8 hours) everyday, and exercising. We usually tend to skip exercise because of some or the excuses like lack of time, or laziness, tiredness, etc. Studies show that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication — but without the side-effects, of course. Exercise is also a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment. It relieves tension and stress, boosts physical and mental energy, and enhances well-being through the release of endorphins. It is also a distraction which allows the mind to pay attention to the movements and improves the quality of sleep.
Let us act for men’s mental health not just for men’s mental health month but every month of the year.
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